Quit Playin? With Kevin?s Hair!!
A/N: Hello!! Every now and again I go on a Backstreet Boys high and get all into watching their videos and gushing about how much I loved them as a young girl. The other day I had a good laugh about Kevin?s hair in the ?Quit Playing Games With My Heart? video, so I?m writing a fic about the shooting of the video. THIS IS PURELY FICTIONAL. It never happened (or so we believe). Also, the Boys might be OoC but I?ve always had assumptions about what the Boys? did. I spent a lot of my youth at BSB humor sites and their conceptions of the Boys are what I imagine the Boys to be like. LOL[All five Boys are walking out to the middle school where the video is being shot. They enter the hair and make up trailer. As the Boys are seated in their respective seats and this is when the hair and make up designer, Rudy, speaks to the boys.]
Rudy: Oh yes, AJ, a short buzz is good for you. I love to accessorize your body. We might have to hide that tattoo though. Big no-no from Lou.
AJ: ::mutters:: Lou can fuck a duck.
Rudy: Pardon my dear AJ? Did you say something?
Nick: RUUUUUDDDDYYYYY!!!!! I have split ends! ::pouts::
Rudy: Yes, yes, Nick. I did notice that. What we will do with your hair, ::stand behind Nick and look at the mirror before them, Rudy flips Nick?s hair around:: is give it a trim and make it look like a cute short Demi cut. Oh yes! You?ll look
fabulous!
Nick: You hear that Rok? I?ll look fabulous.
Rudy: Do not bother my star! ::whispers dramatically as he approaches Brian:: Brian! My dear! All you have to worry about is nothing! You are perfectly cute! ::he dramtically twirls over to Kevin?s seat:: Kevin, I have been thinking. We want to make your hair sexy, and do you know what is currently sexy?
Kevin: Brian......is.......my......cousin.
Rudy: YES! But we are focusing on
you, and what I feel from you.....it is...it is OASIS! ::pulls out a photo of Liam Gallagher::
Kevin: What.....the.....fuck? Hell.....no.
Rudy: But Kevin! You are the oldest. You are tall, dark, and handsome! You are the one to pull off this look.
Kevin: Look man.......hell.......no.
Howie: C?mon Kevin. Just do it. We don?t want Lou starving us for another week.
Nick: Look bro! I don?t wanna be alone with him again! No way bro!!! No way man! Do it Kevin!
Kevin: Nick........shut.....up.....That.....cut....ain?t....me.
AJ: ::takes off sunglasses:: Dude, you?ll look so retarded. DO IT! DO IT! CUT HIS HAIR! ::maniacal laugh:: ?Today is gonna be the day that they?re gonna throw it back to you!!? After we wax D?s chest, we should glue the hair to give you a unibrow too, bro. ::manical laugh::
Howie: I don?t wax my chest!
Nick: Oh that?s right, man. You use Nair. Sorry that I used your last bottle.
AJ: You have chest hair, Nick? When did you hit puberty?
Brian: ::chuckles:: Nick thought it was lotion. You should have seen his face when his leg hairs was falling off.
Nick: ::face grows red:: BROK! You said you weren?t going to tell!!!
Brian: Oops! Sorry man. ::laughs with AJ::
Rudy: Calm down boys!
Kevin: Don?t.....touch.....my.....hair! ::flicks the hairdresser?s scissors away from his head::
AJ: DUDE! Just fucking do it!
Brian: AJ! What did I tell you about cursing?
AJ: What?! Kevin was cussing like a fucking pirate just a few moments ago!
Brian: Oh....well, you know Kevin mumbles. Sometimes I miss the things he says.
AJ: Fucking bullshit, man. Sorry Brian. Stopping with the cussing. FUCK YOU NICK!
Nick: :squeaks:: What did I do?
AJ: I saw you looking at me!
Kevin: N...n...n....o...o....o. Not.........my......hair.
Howie: Come on Kev. It?ll just be a retarded cut for today?s shoot.
Kevin: I.....hate......videos......I......always....look......like.....an....idiot.
Brian: We?re in it together man. When you look stupid, so do we.
AJ: ::gives Brian a rather depressed stare, his sunglasses sliding off a bit:: That?s pretty sad, Brian. I don?t want Kevin to get the Oasis hair anymore.
Rudy: Boys! Don?t be such divas! The video will shoot soon and we can?t have you holding the place up.
Kevin: FINE! Cut......my......damn.......hair.
[As the day progresses, and after dozens of jokes by the other Boys about Oasis, Kevin becomes a bit more accostumed to the hairdo. But when the Boys see that the production staff is bringing out the rain machine, Kevin glares angrily at the director.]
Kevin: Hell...........no!!!!!!
Director: What do you mean, Kevin? We just need some shots of you Boys wet under the rain, your shirts unbuttoned, it won?t be bad.
Kevin: We.......are......singers......not.......pieces.........of..........meat.......to......be.......stared......at.....you........can?t.....do.....
this......to.....us.
AJ: Yeah! And Nick?s only 15. CHILD PORN! WE?RE SHOOTING CHILD PORN!
Kevin: AJ! Shut......up!
AJ: What man? I?m serious!
Director: Now boys, let?s not overreact! This is what your label wants. They know what they are doing, and so do I. Everything will be fine.
[After a long argument about throwing away his dignity, Kevin reluctantly agrees to shooting the rain sequence. Mainly because he didn?t want to make the other Boys suffer much longer, and he knew it was a battle he would lose anyway, though Howie quite enjoyed thrusting his hips at the camera when it was Howie?s turn to do the close ups. And the end results:
Kevin?s hair
the video
FIN]
