See I didnt see it like that. I dont really think its a mentality thing where he believes he lost her. I think that losing his humanity, even when he was forced to by Klaus, was when he lost her. I mean, he left town, but Elena and Damon spent months trying to find him again, so he wasnt lost to her at all. It was until the humanity compulsion and Michael dying that Elena actually said the words: We Let him Go (To Damon). I think that as much as Elena loves him, its about what he has done recently. How he has focused on getting revenge from Klaus, to the point of wagering Jeremy's life and Elena's, and at one point Damon's that is the cause for Elena and Stefan current wedge. Now with Damon... I don't think he actually likes killing people, I think, that he is in ways more like Elijah and Klaus; its not as if they actually like going out there and kill, but its in their nature, to them, killing someone is part of them, how they function, how they solve things. Im sure its hard to like get around it, but I dont consider Elijah a bad guy, and I've seen him rip out hearts left and right. Im guessing for Damon, its on the same page, they kill to get whatever they need done, done. And Id say it was related to their 'Protect Elena' complex... As for Damon's humanity, he is feeling a lot of it lately... in fact, compared to previous seasons, he is quite well behaved.
I think Stefan and Damon are on an even foot right now with Elena. She cares for them both, Stefan maybe just a little more, and they both have given up a lot for her. Stefan basiclly became Klaus' man slave for a while, and Damon spent a whole lot time sitting in the sidelines, protecting her out of love, without her knowing about the being in love part, and then trying to save her ass from Klaus a lot. So honestly, atm, the ball is pretty much in Elena's court. Elena wont date Damon because it'll feel like betrayal to Stefan (And I doubt that betrayal feeling will ever change), and she probably wont run back to Stefan because, basiclly, She doesnt trust him anymore...
I dont know. I think that for Damon and Elena to be together, Stefan has to take a step back willingly, and let Elena go. That's why I dont see it happening. Cause at this point neither brother can really back down (I think Damon will, again); and Elena has to be the one to choose. Honestly, I feel that Elena has already accepted him completely. I think she realizes that Damon cant be changed. That he is charming, and hot, and smart, and witty, and kinda jerky at times, but he has a heart, and its usually guiding him. She isnt actively trying to change him anymore, she accepts the fact that he is a vampire, and unlike brooding Stefan of seasons1-2, he has no qualms on being just that. I think that Elena understands that at this point, trying to change Damon into someone 'nicer' is like asking him to turn into a human again... unlikely (i was gonna say impossible, but in this show, you never know)
I think that for a fan base, (especially at that age) its about the generality of the character, and basiclly the on screen chemistry. They like the chemistry between Ian and Nina, and they react to that (most of them)... others actually think about the story and all, but many react to that. The same way I feel the Stelena fans react to the more sweeter nature of Elena and Stefan, a lot less fiery, passion chemistry... more relationship-y chemistry to try and explain that.
No offense, I have a 13 year old cousin, and she changes her mind a lot, and mostly reacts to whomever is sadder by the end of the ep. That she is a romantic (even though she wont admit it)... I get what you mean about teenagers those ages.. they are fickle, and picky, and intense at times... but, they are also 60% of ratings, so we love them for keeping the show on air
