Part 2
20 September 2010
Liverpool?I can?t believe we?ve started the season like this,? Emma sighed, pushing her dessert around her plate.
?I can?t believe how amazing this cake is,? Melanie exclaimed, taking another bite of her dessert.
?How can you think about dessert right now?? Emma looked up at Melanie. ?My stress levels are through the roof! Between dealing with Martin?s whining and Roy?s wrath I?m going to pull my hair out.?
?Does Hodgson?s wrath really make it all the way to the reserves??
?I?ve been working with the first squad!?
?Helping Lana deal with an under performing striker?? Melanie asked, laughing lightly.
I continued to push my own dessert around my plate. The three of us had begun a ritual a year ago. Every Monday evening, we found our way to our favorite Italian restaurant and ordered dessert. We ate nothing else, only dessert. It was one of my favorite rituals. But tonight, I was distracted.
?I don?t think he?s getting enough at home. Lana can deal with that part on her own.?
I looked up at Emma suddenly, dropping my spoon as I did. It clanked loudly against my plate and tumbled toward my lap. I jumped to avoid splattering the gelato on my lap. My knee crashed into the table as I did.
?What am I helping who with?? I asked, rubbing my knee gently.
?God Lana,? Emma raised an eyebrow at me. ?Where were you? Pluto??
?What? No, I?m just really tired,? I looked back at my half-eaten dessert. I wasn?t hungry. I hadn?t been hungry in days. I ate because I knew I was supposed to, not because my body was telling me I needed to.
?Emma was saying that you?d be willing and able to help Fernando out with any problems he?s having at home,? Melanie nudged me.
?He?s not having problems at home.? I took a drink of water, trying my best to hide what I really knew was going on with Fernando.
?Could have fooled me,? Emma laughed. ?It?s like Olalla hasn?t put out since last season.?
I couldn?t help it as the water went down the wrong tube in my throat. I coughed violently, tears springing to my eyes. I was never this clumsy.
Emma and Melanie both eyed me cautiously.
?Maybe she?s pregnant,? Melanie shrugged. ?I mean, I don?t think I?d be very up for it if I were pregnant.?
?I don?t think she?s pregnant,? I muttered.
?She?d know,? Emma nodded toward me. ?She?s been pretending she doesn?t have a crush on Nandito for two years.?
?Oh shut up Miss I-only-admit-my-crush-on-Torres-when-I?m-drunk!?
?I told you that in confidence! Besides, Nandito is fit. I?m not blind. And he?s a good guy. Impossible to not have a crush on him.?
?Well, I don?t have a crush on Freckles.?
?She?s right Emma. She doesn?t have a crush on him.?
?Thank you.?
?She?s full on in love with him.?
?Oh my God,? I hung my head as I felt the heat in my face. ?I?m not in love with Fernando.?
?You just keep telling yourself that,? Melanie teased as we heard her phone ringing from her purse. She dug it out, looking at the screen. ?It?s Jamie, sorry girls.?
?Go home to your husband. It?s getting late anyway,? Emma motioned for the waiter.
?Night ladies,? Melanie placed hurried kisses on each of our cheeks as she left her payment for our dessert and rushed out the door.
*****
?Are you sure you?re alright?? Emma asked as we walked. Neither of our apartments were far from the restaurant. We often walked there together. ?You?ve looked tired lately.?
?I?m fine, Emma,? I sighed. ?It?s just stressful is all.?
?It?ll get better. It has to.?
We stopped in front of my building. I glanced up and saw a light in the lounge. I didn?t usually leave any lights on.
?They don?t work for Hodgson the way they did for Rafa.?
?Talk to them about it.?
?I can?t,? I ran a hand through my dark hair. ?I said something to Stevie and he got angry. I tried talking to Jamie and I got reprimanded.?
?What about Fernando??
?What about him? He?s barely hanging on as it is. He?s not?? I trailed off. I had promised Fernando that I would tell no one that Olalla was gone.
?He?s not himself,? Emma finished for me.
I nodded silently. She had no idea. Sooner or later people were going to find out. But it was not up to me to reveal Fernando?s secrets.
?Get some sleep Lana.?
?See you tomorrow Em.?
*****
I slid out of my flats as soon as I?d stepped through the door. As I walked toward the lounge, I heard the television. I knew I hadn?t left it on.
I walked cautiously through the entry but found no one sitting in front of the television. Suddenly I felt a hand on my shoulder and I jumped, letting out a small scream.
?I?m sorry,? Fernando?s voice greeted me as I turned to see him.
?Jesus Torres! You scared the hell out of me,? I gasped, smacking his chest.
?Ow!? he laughed, grabbing my hands. ?Stop hitting me. I?ll call the police.?
I stopped trying to hit him but I glared up at him.
?And tell them what? You?re in
MY apartment,? I smirked.
?I?ll figure something out,? he returned my smirk.
He moved past me, taking a seat on the sofa. He turned his attention back to the television.
?What are you doing here Fernando??
?We were going to watch a movie. Remember??
He raised his eyebrows as he side-glanced me. I thought for a moment before I remembered. We?d been talking about it for days. I never forgot movie nights with Fernando. I couldn?t believe I was starting now.
?I?m sorry,? I admitted, watching him lean back. ?Give me a few minutes??
?Let me guess. You can?t stand the few dishes that are in the sink.?
?Keep it up, hot shot. See if I ever watch movies with you again,? I laughed as I picked up a throw pillow from the chair next to me and hurled it at him. Then I turned toward the kitchen. He was right. There were dishes in my sink that were driving me crazy. I had to take care of them before I could do anything else.
?You love me!? he called after me.
I didn?t respond as I entered the kitchen. I found the music app on my phone and opened it. Finding the playlist I had named ?Fun? I hit play and began swaying my hips to the music as I began washing the dishes.
I had almost forgotten that Fernando was in my apartment. Not that he hadn?t seen this goofy, dancing fool side of me before. I started the popcorn when I?d finished washing the dishes. I was still dancing around my kitchen when I heard Fernando?s voice.
?What are you doing?? he asked. He was only about arms length from me.
?I?m dancing?? It was more of a question than it was a statement. I continued swinging my hips as Justin Timberlake played through my phone.
?Trying to bring sexy back??
He took one of my hands and spun me around. Before I knew it, he was moving with me. I had danced with Fernando plenty of times, much to everyone but Olalla?s amusement, but this was different. This felt more intimate. He held me tighter against him and my body felt like it was on fire. I?d always known how well Fernando and I worked together. Dancing with him in my kitchen, even if we were just joking around, seemed to prove it.
?Wrong song,? I muttered as he dipped me back with a large smile on his face. His nose was touched to mine and our eyes locked. For a moment it was as if the entire world had stopped. My heart raced but my mind was blank.
The smile on Fernando?s face slowly disappeared as he continued to hold me close to him. The hand that wasn?t supporting me came up to my face, gently touching my cheek. Our lips were centimeters from touching.
The microwave beeped suddenly and Fernando sighed heavily, resting his forehead against mine. He pulled us both into a standing position. I regained my balance before stepping away from him to pull the popcorn out of the microwave. Fernando ruffled my hair before heading back to his spot on the sofa.
*****
?How do I always let you talk me into this Fernando?? I asked when the movie was finished. I buried my head in his chest. I was curled into him, shaking slightly.
?It?s just a movie,? he laughed, wrapping an arm around me. He knew I hated scary movies. But he?d put in Paranormal Activity anyway.
?Try telling that to my subconscious when I?m having nightmares,? I pouted. I stifled a yawn as he kissed the top of my head. I?d been struggling to stay awake for most of the movie.
?Your subconscious should listen to me. I?m very wise.?
?Sure you are, Xabi,? I poked him in the side.
?Oh really? Xabi??
?Yep. Xabi was the wise one. You pale in comparison.?
?Take it back!? he exclaimed, returning the poke to the side I?d given him. I squirmed in his grip.
?No,? I giggled.
?Take it back right now,? he poked me again and I squirmed again.
?Never happen.?
?Never say never, querida.?
No sooner had the words come out of his mouth than he?d begun tickling me. Fernando knew just how ticklish I was. I let out a shriek and squirmed violently but he had a firm grasp on me. I was laughing so hard that I could barely breathe as I begged him to stop.
He loosened his grip slightly, and I managed to wiggle my way out of his grasp. I jumped to my feet, taking a few long steps backward. A feeling of light-headedness was beginning to sweep over me. I inhaled deeply in an attempt to chase it away.
As my vision narrowed, I reached out for something to grab onto. I?d had this feeling before. Whoever had called it tunnel vision had been spot on. The blackness started from the outsides of my vision and moved in.
?Lana!? Fernando?s voice sounded like it was miles away as I hit my knees.
I felt his arms wrap around me and I looked up as my vision became less blurry. My head stopped spinning and I saw the worried look on his face. He was kneeling in front of me, prepared to support my weight if I passed out.
I relaxed myself into him, feeling weak. Staying awake was taking so much effort. I leaned my forehead against his shoulder, my face turned into the crook of his neck.
?I?m sorry. I?m just so tired,? I murmured. Fernando wasn?t stupid. My excuses wouldn?t cut it forever.
?You almost passed out, Lana.? He spoke softly but I could hear the concern in voice. A hand came up to my face. ?You?re warm.?
?I?m fine,? I said, pulling back. I began to stand up but my balance was still off. He allowed me to lean into him and helped me to my feet.
?Come on, let?s get you to bed,? he sighed. He knew he couldn?t argue with me.
?I can do it,? I protested as he began to walk with me, an arm still around my waist.
?I?m not taking chances.?
When we made it to my room, I sat down on my bed and looked up at him. He stood in front of me for a moment.
?What?? he asked, raising an eyebrow.
?I need to change,? I told him. My voice was laced with more annoyance than I?d meant.
?Don?t let me stop you. You?ve seen me shirtless plenty of times. I think it?s only fair that you return the favor.?
I felt my face flush as he chuckled. He had no idea how many glances I?d stolen at his half-naked form. I stood up purposefully and pulled a large t-shirt out of my top drawer. I tossed it on my bed before grabbing the bottom of the shirt I was wearing.
?Fine,? I smirked, turning my back on him. I pulled my shirt over my head and grabbed the oversized one from my bed. I slid that one over my head before turning back to Fernando. His expression was unreadable.
?I should go,? he said quickly, shaking his head slightly. Then he seemed to have a change of heart. ?Will you be okay? Do you want me to stay??
?I?ll be fine.?
He again reached out to take me in his arms. I wasn?t sure what I was going to do when he found someone new. In the few months since Olalla had gone I?d come to enjoy how often I found myself in Fernando?s arms.
?I can stay,? he whispered. He placed a lingering kiss on my cheek.
?It?s up to you,? I yawned. ?The extra bed is made up.?
He smiled, guiding me to my bed. He pulled back the covers and I automatically crawled under them. My head hit the pillow and I felt him tuck the covers around me. I barely heard him whisper goodnight before I?d drifted into sleep.
*****
?Wake up. Please wake up, nena,? I shot straight up at the sound of Fernando?s voice. A feeling of dread filled my body and the images of my nightmare wouldn?t leave my head. It took me a moment to realize that the hand on my back was Fernando?s and not some monster or demon from my dream.
?Oh god,? I gasped. I was, once again, soaked in sweat. All of my covers had been kicked to the floor. I looked to Fernando and he seemed to read the question in my eyes.
?You were screaming in your sleep. Lana, you?re burning up.?
?It?s fine. It was just the nightmare.? I swung my feet over the side of my bed. When I attempted to stand up the dizziness swept over me again. ?Sorry I woke you.?
I stumbled to the bathroom, but Fernando followed me. He watched me cautiously as I splashed cold water on my face. Without bothering to dry my face, I leaned back against the wall. I knew this feeling was not normal. But I was afraid of what it meant.
I choked back tears as I slid down the wall to a sitting position. I felt so weak. And I was so hot.
?You?re not okay,? he knelt in front of me, feeling my forehead. I weakly slapped at his hand. ?Lana stop it. Let me help you.?
?I?m so hot.? I lifted myself off the floor, trying to kick off my shorts. In my state, it seemed the answer to my problem.
Without a word, he reached over and turned on the shower. Before I knew what had happened, we were both standing in the shower, the icy water pouring over both of us. I panicked as my feet slipped, but Fernando kept me tight in his grip.
I was shivering when he turned the water off, leaving me with my night shirt stuck to my body and his boxers stuck to his. He helped me out of the tub as my teeth chattered. I had gone from feeling like I was cooking to freezing in a matter of a minute.
I didn?t fight him as he pulled my wet night clothes off my body. I didn?t have the energy to worry about him seeing me naked. He pulled my robe from the hanger on the back of the bathroom door and wrapped it around me before stripping off his own clothing.
Any other time I would have been embarrassed, or even excited. But my thoughts were clouded. I could barely stand on my own and I couldn?t keep my eyes open.
When he laid me in my bed, my tears finally started to fall. I shook until he lay behind me, pulling me against him. He wrapped his body around mine with only my robe separating our skin. Even with the thick robe and his body heat I was still shivering.
?Let me take you to the hospital,? he said, as I continued to shiver.
?No,? I said, turning to face him. He pulled me even closer. ?If I?m not better tomorrow I?ll go.?
?Lana, please.?
?I promise if I?m not better tomorrow.?
?Okay,? he conceded, his lips finding their way to my forehead. ?I worry about you.?
?You shouldn?t.? I placed a light kiss on his bare chest and felt him shiver. ?Are you cold??
?No, querida. Far from it.?
A/N: I really have nothing to say other than I still think you are all the most awesome people on the planet. Sorry for the delay in getting this posted.
