Magic month of memories
JOHN AIZLEWOOD
From Argentina?s 24-pass wonder goal to Graham Poll?s yellow-card disaster, the world?s top tournament more than lived up to its star billing
The Helmut Kohl Award for German Reunification: Jens Lehmann agreeing to step down last night so his bitter rival Oliver Kahn could taste World Cup action.
Diplomatic fudge of the World Cup: Germany?s Lukas Podolski being named Fifa?s Young Player of the World Cup. Rather than the best young player on view, Cristiano ?Winker? Ronaldo.
School holiday of a lifetime: Theo Walcott.
Can he really be as stupid as he looks? Yes he can: Wayne Rooney.
Most clumsy attempts to distance himself from a former regime: Steve McClaren?s series of ?off the record? briefings.
Formidable! A genuinely great player enhancing his reputation: Zinedine Zidane.
Forgettable! Supposedly great players diminishing their reputations: Ronaldo, David Beckham, Frank Lampard, Roberto Carlos, Luis Figo, Henrik Larsson, Zlatan Ibrahimovic, Ruud van Nistelrooy, Pauleta, Xabi Alonso, Andriy Shevchenko.
They peaked too early: Argentina.
They didn?t peak at all: Brazil.
There was never the slightest chance that they were going to peak: Togo.
Straw clutching: There is one (sort of) Englishman at the final: Italy squad player Simone Perrotta, born in Ashton-under-Lyne, birthplace of a certain Sir Geoff Hurst.
Goal of the tournament: Esteban Cambiasso, for Argentina against Serbia & Montenegro. After a 24-pass move. Poetry.
Own goal of the tournament: Italian Cristian Zaccardo?s unstoppable volley for the United States, still the only goal his country have conceded.
Goal grabber: Argentina?s Hernan Crespo saving Jared Borgetti of Mexico the ignominy of an own goal. ?I swear that I touched the ball. Whatever it looks like on television, I did get a touch.? He was barely in the same half of the field as the Mexican.
My, those grapes are sour: Cuauhtemoc Blanco on Ricardo La Volpe, the coach who had the temerity to omit him from Mexico?s World Cup squad: ?We lost, but we win, because finally the team will be freed of this dark personality who is now synonymous with failure. I am outraged by so much praise for Mexico, when really, at the end of it all, this is a failure.?
This World Cup, Harry Kewell missed games because of: gout.
Don?t be so silly: Stan Lazaridis on Australia?s World Cup: ?Thanks to our terrific displays the world has taken notice of Australian football.?
Never a truer word: Sven-Göran Eriksson?s admission that ?I?m no Winston Churchill?.
Aren?t there fines for that sort of thing? The Spanish fans who directed monkey chants at the French team.
No wonder they are still seething over the Falklands: Argentina, nobly upholding the fine traditions of sportsmanship in defeat so beloved by their predecessors, after being knocked out by Germany in the qurter-finals.
Most surprising post-World Cup re-appointment: Czech Republic coach Karel Bruckner is rewarded with a new two-year contract after two defeats and a feeble first-round exit for a team that had been touted as one of the favourites before a ball was kicked.
He should get that twitchy eye attended to by a fully qualified optician: Cristiano Ronaldo.
Graceless victor: Italy captain Fabio Cannavaro after Australia were defeated by a dubious 94th-minute penalty: ?People claim we were lucky to go through, but if there was a team that was fortunate during the game, it was Australia.?
Least effective offside trap: Ghana?s against Brazil in the second round.
Most motivational piece of journalism: German tabloid Der Spiegel claiming that Italians were ?lazy and greasy? before the semi-final.
A likely tale: ?Rooney didn?t just send me congratulations for going forward in the World Cup, he also told me Portugal have a great team, and if we carry on as we have, we will go a long way. He wasn?t angry with me, or about anything that happened.? Cristiano Ronaldo.
Neutral commentator of the tournament: Huang Jianxiang of China Central Television after Italy scraped home against Australia: ?Goooooal! Game over! Italy win! Beat the Australians! Italy the great! Happy birthday to Maldini! Forza Italia! The victory belongs to Italy, to Grosso, to Cannavaro, to Zambrotta, to Buffon, to Maldini, to everyone who loves Italian soccer! Australia should go home. They don?t need to go as far away as Australia, as most of them are living in Europe. Farewell!?
Steady on there: the Ecuadorian government awarding each member of their squad a medal. For reaching the second round.
Rebel of the tournament: Saudi Arabia?s Malek Al Hawsawi, who circumnavigated Fifa?s ban on jewellery by keeping his ring in his mouth.
Worst role model: Fifa?s Sepp Blatter: ?I was not a perfect player. I tried to get some advantages by falling down and saying, ?But he touched me?. And in fact it was not that. I did it.?
The Jade Goody Elementary Mathematics Two Yellows Don?t Make A Red Award: Graham Poll.
He might not have been the man for England after all: Scolari?s touchline antics, his dreary Portugal, his diving Portugal and his hopelessly ineffective substitutions.
Coach of the World Cup: France?s Raymond Domenech: ridiculed for his hobbies (acting, tarot cards), his stated target (?July 9?) and his refusal to pick Scorpios, even before his team?s dismal pre-tournament form. Now, he has motivated an elderly squad so well that they?re in the final.
Price of an England flag at Tesco last week: Ł1.
Price of an England flag at Tesco this week: 1p.
Least impressive tactical move of the tournament: Argentina?s Jose Pekerman omitting midfield linchpin Javier Saviola for the fateful game against Germany.
They weren?t tactical soul-mates, then: Michael Owen on Sven-Göran Eriksson: ?Wayne Rooney is one of the best strikers in the world. You?re cutting his legs off if you play with just one up front.?
England players shortlisted for the Young Player of the Tournament award: 0.
England players in the all-star squad: One, John Terry.
Brazil players in the all-star squad: One, Ze Roberto.
Why didn?t he look that good at Everton? Marco Materazzi.
Why doesn?t he look that good at Everton? Nuno Valente.
It?s not eccentric, it?s incompetent: Fabien Barthez.
The morning after the night before: Tonight, Italy may win the Cup. Tomorrow, the verdict on their domestic match-fixing scandal arrives.
Most imaginative change of position: Italy left-back Fabio Grosso turning up on the right-hand side of the penalty area to score the first goal against Germany, two minutes from the end of extra time.
Welcome side-effect of England?s exit: Ian Wright?s exit.
He?s peaking at the right moment: Patrick Vieira.
Most disappointingly submissive exit after such promise: Ukraine.
Player most likely to start next season in the Premiership: Fernando Torres.
Player least likely to start next season in the Premiership: Cristiano Ronaldo.
Poll?s apart: Benito Archundia Tellez deserves a special mention for his brilliant performance in refereeing the semi-final between Italy and Germany.
Most confident prediction: Alessandro Del Piero, who promised he would score against Germany ? and did.
